I'm a...

I suggest you go check out the latest news about the one true faith, if you haven't lately. A plush representation of this almighty went for over $500 on ebay:

Merry Christmas to all and may you all be touched by his noodly appendage...

Just like when I was in school...

A substitute teacher was arrested after kids reported that he was snorting a white powder DURING CLASS!! What is with these rat kids? The man needed a pick-me-up and they call in the fuzz? I know that I never told on my teachers. Whether they were stoking up a crackpipe or heating up a spoon, I had respect for my teachers. I would have especially liked to have respected this teacher:

Despite my daily fantasies, none of my female teachers (hot or not, and none of them looked like this) ever took advantage of me. Of course, throw this disturbed, yet hot chick in with a bunch of cops, and justice will prevail. Check out this exert from the wikipedia take on the matter: (yes, wikipedia covers even this minutiae)

A sensational highlight to this case came to light in September 2005 when it was revealed that the Temple Terrace, FL, police ordered explicit nude photos be taken of Lafave's genital area while her feet were bound up in stirrups. The officer who ordered the photos was later charged with soliciting a prostitute and downloading pornography at work. He resigned after also being caught trying to cover up his actions on police department computers.

Good thing the police looked into the matter...

Thai and Bling Bling

Please Excuse my long dry spell with Ho Hum, but things have been too complex lately to dabble with any of my hobbies (which include Ho Hum, speedo-donning, puppy-snuggling, saving beachcombers, and driving around in a talking car). Here is a short bit of Ho Hum to get me back in the groove.

Me and the lady (that would be my lovely wife, BEEzetta) went to Chicago a couple of weekends ago and visited some of her (and my) friends from grad school. This trip reconfirmed the standing of my favorite restaurant in downtown Chicago, Vong's Thai Kitchen. You can here my last raving about it on this old post from Ho Hum. Whilst at Vong's, Vijay (like BEEzetta, an India-born Indian) pointed out that one of the guests looked like Edie Falco from The Sopranos.



We all quickly agreed that it indeed was Edie Falco. Sangheeta (Vijay's wife) noted that she was decked out in lots of "bling bling" (please add Indian accent for maximum effect) and it was true, she was dressed as loud and bright as Carmella Soprano. We decided to enjoy the awesome food and not bother her, but it was a fun addition to the dinner, nonetheless.

Mad Blogger

My friend Rob sent me this amusing article about blogger Byron Crawford, here are Rob's own words:

He's a U City Blogger whose main penchant is FUCKING with people, esp. Kayne West ... pretty funny shit, coming from one brother cracking on another. This article in the Riverfront Times got my curiosity up. Take a twirl around his site. Some harsh shit.

(U City is short for University City, which is the hip part of the St. Louis area that is home of Washington University.)
Personally, I'm so far out of the mainstream (musically) that I wouldn't know a Kanye West song if it came up and bit me on the ass, and I had no problems with his public berating of our shithead President, but I did enjoy this blog nonetheless...

Nostradamus would be jealous...

Check out this Onion article put out right after the 2000 "election." Be sure to read it all and count how many times it is right on the nose... funny, yet eerie stuff. And once again, like with the toads, I'm stealing from Matt. The Man won't let him post on his blog any more...

On Pudenda and Lickable Toads

I had to post this just in case you haven't received this clipping from the email humor circuit. Just click on the pic and give it a read.

Here is an analysis of its legitimacy, and here is a little story about licking toads... I'll let you research pudenda on your own.

Slip it in....

Here it starts again. The current administration, or at least the Christian right that got them elected, would love to chip away at the separation of church and state, but it is tough to do when people are watching. I'm sure many of them blamed Katrina and Rita on gays, on abortion, and on godless folks like myself (yes, I lack god... please pray for my sorry ass), but now they smell opportunity. First off, Bush wants to provide vouchers for displaced students displaced by the hurricane so that they can attend private and/or religious schools. Do they need vouchers? Not to attend public schools, but this is a cheesy/sleazy attempt to put the foot in the door on this issue in the post-catastrophe fog.

Also, the Republican thugs in the House hijacked a good bill on Head Start programs with a sneaky amendment that essentially allows government funded religious discrimination. This story sucks, but it did point me to a really good organization called The Interfaith Alliance and a smart minister in that organization, Rev. C. Welton Gaddy. I heard hime interviewed by Al Franken and it was such a pleasure (for a change) to hear from a religious leader that respects (reveres) the separation of church and state. So often, religion is represented by hate-mongering theocrats that fear democracy and science. Non-religious folks like myself can easily become beleaguered and lose sight of the fact that most Christians are not assholes. This shouldn't happen since all of my more religious friends have the big picture in mind and are good folks, but the onslaught of crapola that we've had to endure ever since the Christian Right got an upper hand is wearing my open mind to a slit...

Also, don't think that these are the only two sneak attacks on America that will occur during the flurry of legislation that will be be hurriedly hashed out over the next several months. Please scratch the surface deeper and let me know what you find...

Oh well, on the bright side, you all know, and I'm sure, feel good that ultrascum Tom Delay is finally getting at least some of his due... Not that the shifty powerbrokers in Congress didn't try to change the rules and save Delay's position by smearing the D.A. investigating him (big surprise), but reporters were actually watching this time. I could wax on about that evil, corrupt bag of shit for pages and pages, but it'd be preaching to the choir, so I'll just say Amen!