More words of wisdom from our leader...

Take comfort in the words of our sagely leader. You will find even more comfort in his wise remarks about skin color and democracy! I feel so safe with this man in charge. Stay the course!!!

Bush speaks!

An important clarification about the situation in Afghanistan...

Good sick joke

Okay, here is one of my Dad's (and Mats') favorite jokes to tell, and hearing all of the hurricane news reminded me of it. It's sick, but then again...



A Mississippi girl was very excited because, since she was little, she had been told by her Grandpa that he would take her to Florida when she turned 14. On her 14th birthday, she packed her bag and went to find her Grandpa.

"Grampa, Grampa, I'm all packed up!"

"Now what is you all packed up fo' today?"

"You been tellin' me that when I turn 14, you's gonna take me to Flo'da!"

"Now go unpack dat suitcase, Bessy!"

"Why Grampa, why?"

"Cause, I never did say I's takin' ya to Flo'da, I said, when you turn 14, I'm gonna tampa widcha!"

Swiftboat Liars for Bush!

If anyone is gullible enough to believe this ad about Kerry's war record, at least take the time to get some information before making up your mind. This is classic Karl Rove tactics. They know Bush's war record is troublesome and that Kerry's is fantastic, so what do they do? Say that Kerry is a coward! They did the same thing to John McCain (who should have the balls to ditch Bush and support Kerry) and to triple-amputee war hero Max Cleland (former senator from Georgia). Here are several links that will clarify these ads... Bush Camp Lies and Bush Camp Lies and if you need more Bush Camp Lies



And keep in mind that the big talking republican politicians that are in power now knew what to do about Viet Nam. I know I would have tried to avoid going to Nam, but for these war hawks, I see it as pure hypocrisy (I stole this from one of the above sites):



Richard Armey - Sought college deferment, too smart to die.



Bill Bennett - Sought graduate school deferment, too smart to die.



Pat Buchanan - Sought deferment for bad knee.



George W. Bush Daddy got him in the National Guard



Dick Cheney - Sought graduate school deferment, too smart to die.



Tom DeLay - - Sought college deferment, too smart to die.



Newt Gingrich - Sought graduate school deferment, too smart to die.



Phil Gramm - Sought marriage deferment, too loved to die.



Jack Kemp - Sought medical deferment while in the NFL.



Rush Limbaugh - Sought deferment for ingrown hair follicle on his ass.



Trent Lott - Sought deferment, didn't want to muss his hair.



P.J. O'Rourke - Sought deferment, too stoned.



Dan Quayle - Family got him into the Reserves.



Pat Robertson - Father pulled him out of Korea as soon as the shooting began.



Kenneth Starr Sought deferment for psoriasis.



John Wayne - Sought deferment to further acting career.



Vin Weber - Sought deferment for asthma.



George Will - Sought deferment, too much of a wussy.

1,001 Uses for an Old Toothbrush

Howdy out there. Cooter's latest entry inspired me to ponder uses of old toothbrushes. I went looking, and here was certainly my favorite!

Will Ferrell...much better at Bush than Hammond

Okay, Daryl Hammond was a master at Clinton and many others (the Jesse Jackson was a classic), but he was unfunny as Gore and is even less funny as Bush. Christ, just because the guy can be accurate doesn't mean every imitation he does is funny (especially with that crack writing crew they have at SNL these days). Funny should always be first, accuracy should be second (think Chevy Chase as Gerald Ford...no make up , didn't make sense, but funny). Anyway, Will Ferrell does rule as the best Bush. To see his post-SNL skewering of our embarassing man in charge, go here

Psychedelic Money Sniffer

Go help the president figure out policy here

Holy Shit! Ped Mall Tales...

My wife and I decided to go out for a walk last night, despite the sultry condititions. We walked down by the Health Sciences Library and caught a Cambus over the river to down town IC. It was dusk, and as we strolled through the ped mall, we saw motion in the fountain (for non-locals, this fountain looks like several of me, after drinking several beers, lying on our backs pissing into the air..or like this). The motion turned out to be four exceptionally nubile brunettes (we estimate between 16 and 19 years in age, all smokin' hot) in tiny bikinis. Now, I'm with my wife, so I try to stay calm, despite this oddity. So we calmly walked on by with me feigning a lack of interest (other than in the strangeness of it all). Then, they go running from the fountain, in all of their drippy glory, to the playground by the library (which you can see at the bottom of the earlier link) and climbed up to the top of a slide and proceeded to each swirl down to the bottom (causing their thongish garb to contort in wonderous ways). They then ran back to the fountain. This procedure happened again. Now, I was ready to break into the camera store, but I had to maintain some calm, being with the lady, but heck, how often does this happen? So we left the library, passing back by the fountain. All four were standing there in the fountain, each with an upward stream of water aimed directly at their glory while making sounds like OOH, AHHH, and HEE HEE HEE, their naval piercings dripping, with fiendish looks on their faces. I had to just walk on by, pretending that I wasn't seeing anything too amazing.

We went around the block, and my wonderful wife was nice enough to steer us back to that area for one more look (I suppose partly to try to make sense of it, and partly to please her horn dog hubby). Sure enough, they were still cycling through the same bafflingly awesome routine. Alas, I'm not one to just sit and stare (unless I'm drunk and my wife is not around), so we walked on by to a Cambus and headed home. Like that, it was over...no pictures, no solid theory as to what was happening. So, if you see me at night setting by the fountain with a yearning look...