I'm a...

I suggest you go check out the latest news about the one true faith, if you haven't lately. A plush representation of this almighty went for over $500 on ebay:

Merry Christmas to all and may you all be touched by his noodly appendage...

Just like when I was in school...

A substitute teacher was arrested after kids reported that he was snorting a white powder DURING CLASS!! What is with these rat kids? The man needed a pick-me-up and they call in the fuzz? I know that I never told on my teachers. Whether they were stoking up a crackpipe or heating up a spoon, I had respect for my teachers. I would have especially liked to have respected this teacher:

Despite my daily fantasies, none of my female teachers (hot or not, and none of them looked like this) ever took advantage of me. Of course, throw this disturbed, yet hot chick in with a bunch of cops, and justice will prevail. Check out this exert from the wikipedia take on the matter: (yes, wikipedia covers even this minutiae)

A sensational highlight to this case came to light in September 2005 when it was revealed that the Temple Terrace, FL, police ordered explicit nude photos be taken of Lafave's genital area while her feet were bound up in stirrups. The officer who ordered the photos was later charged with soliciting a prostitute and downloading pornography at work. He resigned after also being caught trying to cover up his actions on police department computers.

Good thing the police looked into the matter...

Thai and Bling Bling

Please Excuse my long dry spell with Ho Hum, but things have been too complex lately to dabble with any of my hobbies (which include Ho Hum, speedo-donning, puppy-snuggling, saving beachcombers, and driving around in a talking car). Here is a short bit of Ho Hum to get me back in the groove.

Me and the lady (that would be my lovely wife, BEEzetta) went to Chicago a couple of weekends ago and visited some of her (and my) friends from grad school. This trip reconfirmed the standing of my favorite restaurant in downtown Chicago, Vong's Thai Kitchen. You can here my last raving about it on this old post from Ho Hum. Whilst at Vong's, Vijay (like BEEzetta, an India-born Indian) pointed out that one of the guests looked like Edie Falco from The Sopranos.



We all quickly agreed that it indeed was Edie Falco. Sangheeta (Vijay's wife) noted that she was decked out in lots of "bling bling" (please add Indian accent for maximum effect) and it was true, she was dressed as loud and bright as Carmella Soprano. We decided to enjoy the awesome food and not bother her, but it was a fun addition to the dinner, nonetheless.

Mad Blogger

My friend Rob sent me this amusing article about blogger Byron Crawford, here are Rob's own words:

He's a U City Blogger whose main penchant is FUCKING with people, esp. Kayne West ... pretty funny shit, coming from one brother cracking on another. This article in the Riverfront Times got my curiosity up. Take a twirl around his site. Some harsh shit.

(U City is short for University City, which is the hip part of the St. Louis area that is home of Washington University.)
Personally, I'm so far out of the mainstream (musically) that I wouldn't know a Kanye West song if it came up and bit me on the ass, and I had no problems with his public berating of our shithead President, but I did enjoy this blog nonetheless...

Nostradamus would be jealous...

Check out this Onion article put out right after the 2000 "election." Be sure to read it all and count how many times it is right on the nose... funny, yet eerie stuff. And once again, like with the toads, I'm stealing from Matt. The Man won't let him post on his blog any more...

On Pudenda and Lickable Toads

I had to post this just in case you haven't received this clipping from the email humor circuit. Just click on the pic and give it a read.

Here is an analysis of its legitimacy, and here is a little story about licking toads... I'll let you research pudenda on your own.

Slip it in....

Here it starts again. The current administration, or at least the Christian right that got them elected, would love to chip away at the separation of church and state, but it is tough to do when people are watching. I'm sure many of them blamed Katrina and Rita on gays, on abortion, and on godless folks like myself (yes, I lack god... please pray for my sorry ass), but now they smell opportunity. First off, Bush wants to provide vouchers for displaced students displaced by the hurricane so that they can attend private and/or religious schools. Do they need vouchers? Not to attend public schools, but this is a cheesy/sleazy attempt to put the foot in the door on this issue in the post-catastrophe fog.

Also, the Republican thugs in the House hijacked a good bill on Head Start programs with a sneaky amendment that essentially allows government funded religious discrimination. This story sucks, but it did point me to a really good organization called The Interfaith Alliance and a smart minister in that organization, Rev. C. Welton Gaddy. I heard hime interviewed by Al Franken and it was such a pleasure (for a change) to hear from a religious leader that respects (reveres) the separation of church and state. So often, religion is represented by hate-mongering theocrats that fear democracy and science. Non-religious folks like myself can easily become beleaguered and lose sight of the fact that most Christians are not assholes. This shouldn't happen since all of my more religious friends have the big picture in mind and are good folks, but the onslaught of crapola that we've had to endure ever since the Christian Right got an upper hand is wearing my open mind to a slit...

Also, don't think that these are the only two sneak attacks on America that will occur during the flurry of legislation that will be be hurriedly hashed out over the next several months. Please scratch the surface deeper and let me know what you find...

Oh well, on the bright side, you all know, and I'm sure, feel good that ultrascum Tom Delay is finally getting at least some of his due... Not that the shifty powerbrokers in Congress didn't try to change the rules and save Delay's position by smearing the D.A. investigating him (big surprise), but reporters were actually watching this time. I could wax on about that evil, corrupt bag of shit for pages and pages, but it'd be preaching to the choir, so I'll just say Amen!

Presidential Joke

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He
concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq."

"OH NO!" Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching
as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, Bush looks up and asks, "How many is a
brazillion?"


Of course, the real joke is on us, but it is a rare clean joke for Ho Hum...

"Intelligent Design"

I know that my small list of readers are too savvy to buy in to the bullshit known as intelligent design, but in case you need to bone up before an argument with someone, or are tempted by the "it's just a theory" crapola, check out this post by a U.S. congressman from N.J. who happens to be a physicist.




Of course, if evolution is "just a theory," so is gravity!

I can't wait until schools can finally expose kids to this brilliant use of Mt. Rushmore to confirm I.D.

Is Barbara Bush a bitch?

Yes, that's a true quote, but get this quote about hurricane victims:

"And so many of the people in the arena here, you
know, were underprivileged anyway, so this--this (she
chuckles slightly) is working very well for them." link

Well, at least we honor her great spirit by putting her picture on the $1 bill...

Finally, the Bush's pitch in on the cleanup

And it is only fitting following such a distaster...

His Noodly Appendage makes the NYT

Looks like Pastafarianism is getting more attention.....

Bush is many assholes...

Before I send you on an audio tour, you can download a mosaic of our leader (ahem) made entirely of assholes. I prefer the 30x40 ah version, as the hi-res 90x120 ah version stinks (heh heh). If that ain't enough, you can get the Rush Limbaugh pain pill montage in similar resolutions.


I'll warn you know that if you download the Bush montages, you'll be stared at by many an eye, and none will be blue...

Ok, now for my rant and my audio/video tour... ah, the right wing machine...

These guys are so blatant with their lies, yet they are so effective, so on message. The worst part is that right after they step over the line and even piss off some of their own faithful, they lie again and deny what they said... As Al Franken says

Rush drops a big turd on the ground, then when people start noticing "Hey, there's a steamy turd on the ground," he kicks up a bunch of dust around it...

Example, listen to this from Rush, then listen to this from Rush. Gee, perhaps those heavy days with the pain killers eroded his memory... Since I've primed you up for some hate talk, give this a spin to learn how Cindy Sheehan is "figuratively urinating on her son's grave." Now, while I don't agree with this pud, I understand what he is saying, but consider if someone on a news show from the left (where are those shows?) said something with this much venom... it would be turned into the ultimate outrage. Of course, the script is in place, just listen to this puppet, and I love the way he gets disarmed when they point out that he did NOT lose a kid in this war.
While I don't think Cindy Sheehan's plight matches the plight of many Mom's whose kids were essentially drafted into this war for economic reasons, or National Guard folk that thought they'd be helping out after the next hurricane (her son was a professional soldier... a marine), I do hope that her protest helps shine a light on this corrupt administration and their inept leadership. You can read even more about Sheehan from the attack machine here and here.

No coordinated attack machine from the right would be complete with out a mean stupid blond, they must build these somewhere because their seems to be a new one out every month... Just to finish the Absurdity Tour, here is Pat Robertson's turd, and here is the dust... good thing the "news folk" at CBN were there to sort things out. Is this the most embarrassing time to be an American? I hope so, as I would hate to see it get worse. Okay, one last thing, check out this parody that may be on to something.

Newest on the religion front...

If you haven't learned about the Flying Spaghetti Monster and the related plight with the Kansas School Board, waste no time (I first heard about it from Matt). Here is the newest image of the FSM. This guy drew it up with the intent of having someone convert it to a chrome decal for cars so it can rival the much too common chrome Jesus fish (and the sadly, the more rare Darwin fish with feet). Of course, the positive side of the Jesus fish is that you know you should drive carefully when you see it because an idiot is in front of you. By the way, when in Kansas, don't forget to visit the science museum...

The 885 greatest albums

You can vote for the 885 greatest albums of all time here. This is being done by a really cool public radio station out of the University of Pennsylvania, WXPN, that is almost all music, and not classical like most of the all music public stations, but mostly progressive rock (and you can listen online). The World Cafe is a product of this station. They've already done a 885 greatest songs and you can check out the list here. Springsteen at the top? I don't know, but it was by committee... (not that I don't like The Boss) I'm going to cheat a little and try to prop up some of my favorites (like Love and The Kinks) that are less likely to pull the numbers of Pet Sounds and Sgt. Peppers. I'm still cogitating, but I'll share my list after I submit it...

Quote of the Day

No, not that quote, but one from Al Franken when addressing a Christian rightwinger who complained about seeing this bumper sticker

Franken's reply joke to this complaint was:

If you cut out each part of the New Testament where Jesus talked about helping the poor and the least among us, you would then have a perfect box for Rush Limbaugh to smuggle his drugs in

Polly want a dictionary?

While I'm on a science kick, check out this story about a prolific parrot named N'Kisi. You should check out the recording of N'Kisi here. I've seen Planet of the Apes and personally, I think these birds will eventually take us over (leading to some fun movies)...

New Periodic Table

As a chemistry nerd, I had to pass on this slate story about a rethinking of the periodic table...

Spreading Santorum

Somehow I've managed to overlook the exceptionally gritty, but hilarious and poignant Dan Savage . My friend Rob quoted his definition of santorum when referring to the first class asshole Senator whom inspired the definition. I sometimes disagree with Savage's politics (he aptly skewers right wing hypocrites, but is strangely hawkish on the middle east), but do appreciate his candor (and there's plenty of that to spare...). Click on the links at your own peril, as this guy pulls no punches, whether doing general commentary, giving sex advice in his column Savage Love, or parodying a book by arch-moralist (that is right wing lingo for hypocrite) Robert Bork. You can also catch his bits on This American Life from their archive (if you haven't listened to this show, the site has a handy list called our favorites, which is a great place to start).

The New Way Into Your Home

Yes, of course the doorknob is your way into your home, but it may become the cops way into your home. Cops in Utah are swabbing peoples' doorknobs, then analyizing them using the Ionscan 400B. If it comes up positive for drug residue, they use it to get a search warrant. It is right now under debate in the state's Supreme Court and judges are split (I guess some of them haven't read the 4th Amendment). Gee, I had a sewer guy out to my house yesterday... should I boil my doorknob? No, I'm not talking about his hygeine, but rather, if I was a sewer guy, I might get high before unplugging drains... yep, I better at least wipe it down with alcohol... I feel so much safer these days...

Critic's Corner

Ahh, after a month or so off, I've decided to blather about my recent Ho Hum likes and dislikes in the movie world. Here it goes...

Team America: World Police


(Team America saves Paris from the evil Arabic terrorists in true American fashion.)

I really wanted to catch this one in a theater, but as I've explained in past posts, this one got stuck in the lamest theater in town, so I waited. When it came out on DVD though, I rented it pronto and laughed my ass off (yes, I no longer have an ass). There is something in this movie to piss off everyone, including me, but that didn't stop me from finding it hilarious. For those not in the know, the movie is made with marionettes (puppets) in the style of the 60s TV show Thunderbirds. I caught some episodes of this surreal show on a cable channel (TechTV). My wife said that they had a similar show in India (so probably British) called Fireball XL5. I'm not sure the teeming masses knew (or cared) about this connection to the past, but it certainly added to the humor for me. Team America, though, is more of a parody of a Jerry Bruckheimer blockbuster. If you don't know who he is, read this fine criticism of one of his craphole movies. It's not that everything he touches is awful (I thought Black Hawk Down was a good war-type flick), but he likes his formulaic epics (like Pearl Harbor) served with extra cheese. Anyway, Stone and Parker go after his type of movie with fervor. The other major element is exposing good ol' fashioned American hubris, which has been at an all time high since 9/11.

So, how do they do this? Well, South Park style, of course. With no holds barred, nihilistic FU's all the way around. This doesn't always play well, especially when you disagree with their disdain, but in those few instances, I got past that (and so should you...). My favorite part of the movie was the music. They skewer everything from the overhyped puke music from Broadway to the ignorant over-patriotic country songs (Toby Keith, Brooks & Dunne, etc.) that followed 9/11 to the putrid wussy rock found in movies like Top Gun (and that's not all). Trey Parker is quite a musical talent, both as a writer and a singer, and it makes his parodies all the better. He pegs the standard country & western voice perfectly in "Freedom Isn't Free" and sings quite well through his voice for Kim Jong Il on the touching ballad "I'm Ronery" (that's Lonely). A lot has been made of the porno-level puppet sex scene, and I don't suggest drinking milk during that scene or nose-squirting will ensue. The unrated version (which I own and, I think, is not for rent) takes that scene even further. If you've rented the flick and don't want to buy it to find out what you missed, the addition is more outrageous than hilarious, and here is a forum discussion about what was added. Well, I won't continue to babble on with enthusiasm about this flick, but I could... and if you're easily offended, don't say you weren't warned.
[One more note, if you heard Ebert's review on his TV show, he gave it a thumb's down because it was "nihilistic." This from the guy who wrote Beyond the Valley of the Dolls?? I think his brush with cancer and the effects of aging have completely neutered him. I used to (overall) like his reviews in the Siskel/Ebert days, but he has turned into a real pussy, and has dropped hints about his Christianity (as he fawned over The Passion). I don't care what his religion is, but I wonder if this is why he is often downing movies because of cussing and mean characters, which is isn't consistent with his library of past reviews. I'd think twice about his recent reviews...]

More Movies

Me and the wife enjoyed a small documentary made by the son of architect Louis Kahn called My Architect: A Son's Journey. If you like documentaries, you'll probably like this one. Kahn was a strange dude that lived trying to maintain 3 families and the filmmaker was not part of his wife's family, so the film is about this son's journey to sort out the situation, creating an engaging movie. Here is a more fleshed out review. We also liked The Aviator. This is one of the best looking films I've seen, with an incredible color palate of sepias and sky blue that both evoke pioneering aviation and the black and white films of the era. I ended up liking Leonardo DiCaprio as Hughes more than Cate Blanchette as Kate Hepburn (which surprised me). Keep an eye out Loudon Wainwright III and his kids Rufus and Martha in the lavish scene at the Coconut Grove. We also liked the foreign film Bad Education, which twists with the best of them. This film is complex and I'd recommend it, but not as strongly as the plethora of critics that thought it was the best of the year. The Assassination of Richard Nixon was well made and, of course, Sean Penn did a great job with the role, but the true story was ultimately too harsh and plodding to be entertaining. The Life Aquatic was amusing (especially for its visuals) and quirky, but perhaps too quirky for its own good, so while I liked it, I'm not enthusiastic about it. Kinsey was a high-quality biopic that gets a thumbs up. Even though we both are avid fans of Ben Kingsley, I'd avoid the unpleasant and forgettable Suspect Zero, which skipped the theaters for good reason (not that there isn't worse schlock playing right now). We also liked a small film, mostly a thriller, called Undertow.

Coming Up

We look forward to seeing The Woodsman, The Sea Inside (a foreign film starring the great Javier Bardem), and Million Dollar Baby. I'm a little skeptical of the buzz over Million Dollar Baby as I don't particularly like Eastwood as a director. I thought Mystic River was good, but highly overrated, and I'm wondering if this one will be disappointing, but we'll give it a turn. I'm enthusiastically avoiding White Noise, which is based on the notion of getting messages from the dead in a TV screen's white noise. If you buy that, listen to this and you will here voices from my dinner last night... and I have a bridge you might like to buy. Also, you know there is trouble when critics say that Miss Congeniality II is not as good as the original. Why? The original sucked major ass. Also, read this funny review of Alexander, and then go find more of this guys reviews. They're not always helpful, but always funny.

Okay, that's enough. Please add your agreements, disagreements, other recommendations, and anything else...

Rant at Randy's Blog

Go to Randy's blog and read my rant on youth culture. Dern them whippersnappers! Also, go to his mainpage and see the lawn orniment Randy caught on film (or on CCD, for the tech savvy out there)...

Not for the weak...

Okay, enough of politics. I want to talk about a conspiracy. For the last few weeks, every time I go into a public restroom and have to go into a stall (which is rare, as I don’t relish this, but sometimes the urinals are all full) some freak has left a floater in the toilet. Is this someone’s idea of a joke? HA HA! Thanks for making me gag more than a cat with a hairball. Okay, stop reading if you’re squeamish, but I have to relate the most frightening chapter in the tale of horror. I go into the Old Capitol Mall to take a quick leak. Both urinals are taped over with an “Out of Order” sign. I open the door on the one stall and as I look down, I feel a rush of air leave my body as I involuntarily shriek “OH MY GOD! In the toilet, or mostly in, is a turd the size of my forearm. And for effect, there is blood on the tip. You think your being punished hearing this? Think of having this image of horror forever burned in your visual memory. What if I had walked in a little earlier? Would I have heard screams of pain? Would I have seen two sets of feet in there and heard “breathe, your doing good, I think it’s coming”? At least in this case, I understood why the toilet wasn’t flushed. Anyway, if you’re part of the Secret Floater Society, please find a new victim and for Christ’s sake, flush. And if you’re afraid to flush, consider cutting back on your cheese intake…

Random Rants

I’ve always thought that the common notion that PBS (and NPR, for that matter) is a big lefty organization is total crap. Just turn on PBS on the weekends and watch all of the Wall Street Journal arseholes babbling away, or check out the right/left balance on The McLaughlin group (one poor semi-liberal in the bunch on a good day). Of course, Now (formerly with Bill Moyers) has a liberal slant, but then again, it is one show. And pretty much the only show that I can think of on TV that really addresses crucial issues from a liberal perspective. Of course, those cooking shows are all full of pinkos, but not to get distracted… Soon, this may change. It looks like the powers that be are trying to “Foxify” PBS. Check out this article about the new leadership at PBS. But have no fear, until PBS is right-justified, our troops in Iraq will only get Rush Limbaugh. Perhaps Tom Harkin’s efforts will change this, but I doubt it. Oh, and here is an entertaining Rush-oriented blog.



Do you want to protest our blood-for-oil attitude in Middle East? Buy gas at Citgo. Of course, be sure to fill up your SUV there so that you’re not messing around. Oh, and if you drive an SUV and you don’t live on a country road or in the mountains, you may want to go to this site… it is much cheaper. And, please don’t park next to me. It seems that two of you bastards inevitably park on either side of me. Then I get to blindly back out of my space at 0.2 mph to avoid some other speeding SUV driving a-hole smashing into my car…

Where you at, beeatch!?

I heard on NPR that Dave Chappelle is in a mental hospital in South Africa. Here's the story... Did a little of that Rick James crazy rub off?? NPR said no one knows what is really up, but the reporter said he thinks he is really sick. I hope he is okay, as he is one of the few really funny dudes out there.

Save Toby!

More from www.cruel.com. If you want this bunny to live, you must donate to cute little Toby's owner soon! Now some think this is a hoax, but do you want to take a chance???

Do the Schiavo!

Okay, this is some cruel stuff, but then again, what do you expect from a site called www.cruel.com? Well, you expect to learn about the newest dance craze, The Schiavo...

Critic’s Corner

Not having any good ideas for a post, I thought it time to impose my views upon this Ho Hum world. I know the picture above implies that they will be critical reviews, but they are just ramblings with plenty of seques. I would love to spend many words pointing out what a corrupt son of a bitch evil bastard asshole Tom Delay is, but he seems to be doing that fine for himself…

Rock Show: The Decemberists at The Mill, Iowa City 4/6/05



Although I had heard a few tunes by The Decemberists, when I heard they were going to play The Mill, I could not be considered a fan. I have so many new CDs to listen to that I didn’t want to run out and buy their discs, so I tapped what I had on hand to prep for the show. I downloaded 3 cuts and dug up a CD I got in a CD exchange club that had another 3 cuts. After listening to these 6 cuts together (Los Angeles, I’m Yours, Song for Myla Goldberg; The Soldiering Life; Here I Dreamt I was an Architect; July, July; The Engine Driver) and concluded that this I really liked The Decemberists. I also surmised that they would be great at The Mill, which is a small venue that historically served the Iowa City folk scene.
My cohort in show-going, Matt and I opted to beat the crowd by grabbing dinner at The Mill, only to find out that the band arrived late, pushing back the time they would open the doors. My goal was to get a seat, as my girth and bad back do not lend well to full night of standing. After chowing down on their Mexican Pizza (a unique pie without tomato sauce, but with homemade chorizo sausage, fresh tomatoes, onions, jalapeños and Fontinella on a brushed olive oil crust, quite tasty and recommended) we made our move. Although the crowd was piling up at the door, we managed to steer through the masses and snag a nice table. This was fortunate as the crowd poured in filling every nook and most of the crannies. Our cool friends Gary and the always gorgeous Diana soon arrived and the evening was set.

Austin band Okkervil River opened with a rousing show that didn’t do much for me. First off, the lead singer was always a little off, not in distinctive way, but in an annoying way. Musically, they seemed sound, and the sound was decent, but the crowd obscured my view, leaving me to get more annoyed with the singer. Eventually, The Decemberists filed on to stage. It is pretty amazing that they were even able to keep the show as they only recently had their equipment stolen (see the manifest here). News is that the police have busted this ring and has recovered some of the equipment (apparently many other bands had fallen victim). Knowing how much financial struggle is involved in trying to make a go of it as a rock band leaves me little sympathy for these criminals. Anyway, The Decemberists were great! The sound was great, they played all of the songs I wanted to hear and I enjoyed the rest, they played a long show, they were fun on stage, etc. I recommend this band on disc and on stage.

Movie: Sideways



I’m a huge fan of director Alexander Payne. His last two movies, Election and About Schmidt, were both great, so I had great expectations. You may (or may not) wonder why I waited so long to see it. In Iowa City, any movie that has college student appeal ends up at the downtown mall theater. Unfortunately, it is one of those small screen, circa early 80s budget theaters. No stadium seating or digital sound, and if the movie next door is loud, you can hear it. Strangely, while the movie was still there, it came out on DVD. Since beefing up my home theater system and getting a widescreen TV, I’m going to the theater less and less. Plus, as a former projectionist (the best teen job ever), any little issue with the focus, sound, or if the film is scratch (which all are the result of poorly trained projectionists) will ruin the experience. And, there is that pause-it-and-pee thing… (just to add to my disdain, they put “Sin City” at that theater, which looks like one to see in a theater, but not that one) Anyway, I really liked the flick. Payne makes small films with plots that are hard to sell by description, but he gets under the surface in ways that no other mainstream (or perhaps semi-mainstream) directors seem to do. If you haven’t seen it, rent it. Also, you can get mad that Paul Giamatti didn’t get up for an Oscar. He should have been up for American Splendor, but that one was too small for the BS Oscars.

Movie: Finding Neverland



Perhaps a bit controversial, a movie about a dude who would rather spend time with another woman’s kids than his own wife… and with “Neverland” in the title, but it is a good flick. The movie is about the dude who wrote Peter Pan, which was never that magical to me (probably because I found Sandy Duncan so annoying as a kid… although she sure could sell a triscuit, or was it a wheat thin?). I didn’t expect to like it, as I knew it would be about how much the kids inspired his imagination. I’m not much for kids in movies, they tend to annoy me (like in another Peter Pan spin off, my most abhorred movie of the 80s, Hook). But, this movie worked for me. The best part of the movie is the way it mixes in surreal scenes showing what was happening in Barrie’s imagination. All of the acting was top notch, with Johnny Depp and Kate Winslet great as always. Winslet is a truly underappreciated beauty, way hotter than overrated likes of Julia Roberts and Penelope Cruz. I’m annoyed at everyone fawning over her new figure, implying that she was grotesquely obese when she bared it for movies like The Titanic and Jude. Unfortunately, no nudity from Kate here (which I’ve come to expect, but I suppose wouldn’t fit in this film). These Hollywood types making all of the hotties into haggard skeletons need to be covered in hamburger and deep fried alive, then force fed to Calista Flockhart (but that is just my opinion). Anyway, if your up for a visually nice, genuinely touching film, or need to watch something with kids or parents (or anyone else with which you don’t want to run into an embarrassing scene), I recommend this flick.

Just fun on Ho Hum...

(grabbed from b3ta.com)

Okay, enough politics and ranting (for the moment), now for some light Ho Hum fun... First off, check out the sort of surreal and amusing line of Skittles commercials. My brother and his youngest son became fans of these watching Saturday morning cartoons. I like "Nest" the best, they are partial to "Sour Man" and "Sheep Boys" is brand new (let me know your pick). Regardless, I never have and never will like Skittles...

Here's a howler of a commercial from overseas... a classic.

Finally, enjoy checking out the Agent Barney Fife letting the kiddies know about the dangers of guns. The war on drugs is sure to be won...

More on the Schiavo case

At the end of this rant is a pretty balanced, straightforward telling of the Schiavo situation from the Orlando Sentinel. I do think it gives too much credence to the opinion of one doctor (her parents') over the opinion of many other doctors. Also, dunderheads like Sean Hannity and Joe Scarborough have repeated the BS claim that this doctor was nominated for a Nobel Prize. If you are buying any of that crap, go here. He seems like a quack to me. Being that most of her cerebrum has been replaced by fluid, I think she is not going to improve. Of course, that won't stop our "liberal" press from being creative with the graphics. Polls on topics like this are always troublesome, but look how CNN initially displayed the poll results on the Schiavo issue:



Wow! Almost all of the democrats agree and almost none of the republicans and independents agree...right? Pretty misleading considering that the majority of all 3 groups agree. Gosh, I learned that you weren't supposed to display a bar graph like that during the first hour of a basic stats class.

There was enough outrage that CNN changed it to show the whole scale, but it's pretty scary to think how many people were mislead by the original presentation. Here is how it should have looked. Amazing that the majority of republicans voted this way considering how much misinformation is being put out by the right wing machine.



Also, keep in mind that Bush passed a law in Texas that allowed a baby to be removed from a ventilator last week. Why? Because the parents did not have enough money. What a bunch of hypocrites... Oh, I was supposed to post that article, here it is:

By Robyn Shelton
Orlando Sentinel Medical Writer

March 23, 2005

One guest on a TV talk show demanded to know why Terri Schiavo had not had a brain scan recently. Surely a magnetic resonance imaging test, the guest said, would show if she were in a persistent vegetative state.

A caller to a talk radio show demanded to know why Schiavo's husband, Michael, had prevented his wife from receiving rehabilitation therapy.

The Schiavo case has created a level of hysteria and emotion that is not surprising, considering the life-and-death drama that's unfolding before the nation. But those emotions at times have clouded the facts -- or worse -- especially since Congress intervened last week.

Here are the answers to some commonly asked questions about this complex case:

Question: What is a "persistent vegetative state" and how is it diagnosed? Is it unusual for doctors to disagree?

Answer: People in a persistent vegetative state have lost all higher brain function, including the ability to think, experience emotions and understand the world around them. However, they continue to sleep and wake; open their eyes; breathe on the their own; and even make noises and facial expressions.

This is because their brain stems -- the portion of the brain that controls basic functions such as heartbeat and breathing -- continue to function.

Those suffering from this condition do not track objects with their eyes, blink on command or respond consistently to cues in the environment. When a patient fails tests over a period of time, doctors consider the condition "persistent."

There is no single test, such as a brain scan, that can peer inside the brain and absolutely determine a person's level of mental function. But doctors can diagnose the condition by testing a patient's ability to interact with his or her environment.

Doctors who have been appointed by Terri Schiavo's husband and the courts have determined that she is in a persistent vegetative state with no chance of recovery. Her parents and their physicians do not agree, maintaining that she is not vegetative and can recover.

Doctors who examine the same patient can reach different conclusions, but time is the best arbiter of diverging views, said Dr. Michael Pulley, an assistant professor of neurology at the University of Florida campus in Jacksonville.

"The way to resolve it is to see if there is any change [in the patient's ability to interact] over time," Pulley said, adding that improvements would be expected within the first weeks or months of the injury.

Terri Schiavo has been in this state for 15 years.

Q: Terri Schiavo appears to respond to her mother in a video released by the family. Her father said that she smiled Monday when he told her that her feeding tube could be re-inserted. Doesn't this show that she is not in a persistent vegetative state?

A: Terri Schiavo's parents say this is evidence that she is not in a vegetative state. Court-appointed physicians have not been able to document a consistent, predictable response from Terri that would indicate she is aware of her surroundings.

Q: Isn't there new technology that could provide more insight into Terri's condition?

A: There is a device called functional magnetic resonance imaging -- or fMRI -- that tracks blood flow to regions of the brain while a person is performing certain tasks. Doctors say this can be used to get more information about a person's brain function, but it is not a conclusive test.

Terri Schiavo has undergone a series of diagnostic tests in the past, which showed her brain's electrical function to be flat, court records show. The outcome of those tests supports the diagnosis of "persistent vegetative state." Brain scans show that the area of the brain responsible for higher thinking, the cerebral cortex, has suffered severe atrophy and has been replaced by liquid.

Q: Terri Schiavo's parents and a neurologist who examined her several years ago, Dr. William Hammesfahr, say the woman could get better with therapy. Would she be helped by rehabilitation?

A: Other doctors have concluded that she will not improve with rehabilitation, and previous attempts with therapy had no effect.

Terri underwent more than three years of rehabilitative therapy after her collapse in 1990, and her husband took her to a California center in late 1990 to have an experimental device implanted in her brain in hopes of stimulating activity.

Jay Wolfson, who reported to the court in December 2003, wrote: "In recent months, individuals have come forward indicating that therapies and treatments can literally regrow Theresa's brain tissue, restoring all or part of her functions. There is no scientifically valid, medically recognized evidence that this has been done or is possible, even in rats."

Q: Hammesfahr, the neurologist who examined Schiavo years ago at her parents' request, has said that Terri could eat and drink on her own if fed. Is this true?

A: Doctors performed "swallowing tests" on Terri in 1991, 1992 and 1993 and concluded that she "was not able to swallow without the risk of aspiration," which occurs when fluid or food is inhaled into the lungs.

Pulley, from the University of Florida, said that some patients in vegetative states can swallow, but this does not necessarily indicate higher thinking abilities because swallowing is a "reflexive" action.

Vacation, more colds, and still annoyed about Bush...

Been offline for quite awhile. Went to San Diego and had some fun. We were not blown away by the city, it was a bit dank and windy for the first few days, helping me to yet another freakin' cold (I think I should become a bubble boy), but the sun did come out for the last two days. And yes, I'm still annoyed Bush. Particularly about this poor woman in Florida. To believe that Bush got involved, talk about calling in favors... The thing about republicans, they are total hypocrites. They say they hate "activist judges" yet they rewrite the rules and the laws any time they don't get their way. If this lady was a lucid, single mother of three, they would not give one shit about her, but since she is all but dead, they are emotional about saving her so that she can be force fed another day. Yes, I'm still annoyed...

Back to our vacation. We tried to go to some museums in Balboa Park, but all of the good ones were closed (you know, because it was Monday????). The highlight, though, was the fun we had watching whales. We went on a 3 plus hour tour (where was Maryanne and Ginger?) which started with about an hour long ride out to sea. This first hour consisted of watching military copters and jets doing maneuvers (pretty cool) and witnessing docked warships and submarines (impressive). The motion of sea also meant we got to watch a couple of kids hork up all of those snacks they just had to have... We were skeptical as to whether we would see whales, or if so, that they would be little blips in the distance. That's the way it started, but soon, we got close enough to see them spraying water out of their blowholes (which beat watching half-digested snacks spraying from pieholes...).

Eventually, we could see them (California Grey Whales) jumping out of the water. I think I counted 7 in the pod (that there is whale lingo).

There were porpoises (I learned in Florida not to call them dolphins, which is what they call a mahi mahi) all around the boat, racing us and jumping high in the air, so we had two shows at once. On the way back, right in the harbor amidst all of the ships and several miles from the migratory path we had just left, I caught a grey whale doing this right next to the boat:


Pretty cool.

A post for the womerns

Go check out the website for Unknown Hinson. I suggest starting at the video page. My favorite was Cheeseburger.

On a related but divergent note, a friend sent me this hilarious Louvin Brothers' album cover



The Louvin's took their Jesus stuff a little too seriously for my taste (although perhaps not, judging from that picture), but they wrote some great (non-gospel) songs (When I Stop Dreaming, You are Learning, If I Could Only Win Your Love, Cash On the Barrelhead, many more) and sang with harmonies second to none. You can learn more about them here.

Can you imagine...

what would happen if, during Clinton's presidency, it were discovered that a male prostitute with no valid journalistic credentials was asking Clinton and his Press Secretary softball questions as part of the White House Press Corps (WHPC)? I'm sure it would have been front page news for weeks! Well, if you haven't heard, a fake reporter using the name "Jeff Gannon" magically became a part of the listless WHPC and has been acting as a shill for the administration for the last two years. But it gets better. First off, he isn't Jeff Gannon, but James Guckert. James Guckert is not a credentialed reporter, but he did advertise his services as a male escort (don't click on that one at work...). For more details about Guckert, check out this blog.

Now, with a liberal media, you would think this would be the biggest story on every network but the fair and balanced Fox, but it ain't... Press Secretary Scott McClellan is trying to downplay the issue by acting as if anyone can get into the WHPC and ask questions. We know, of course, that can't be true. Otherwise, the President might actually have to answer a tough question. It is pretty obvious that Gannon/Guckert was ushered in (as legitimate reporters were ushered away) to ask easy (predetermined) questions. Perhaps this site explains this strange phenomenon...

It is bad enough that almost every critical voice in the WHPC has been removed, or at least muted, but now we learn that they have planted non-reporters to keep the heat off of our bumbling leader and to shape the message. Is there a pattern? It was just a few weeks ago that we learned that the administration was paying "reporter" Armstrong Williams to push part of their agenda. And then there was the outing of CIA agent Valerie Plame by crudbucket Robert "the slobberer" Novak. She just happened to be the wife of a dude who pissed off the administration by correctly pointing out that their WMD claims were a bunch of crapola.

Can it get worse? I'm sure it already is. The more we learn about this sleazy administration, most of which will come to light years from now, the more it will become clear that this is the most corrupt group to ever soil the presidency...

Across the Universe

I was crawling the cable the other night when I came upon the Grammys and heard "Coming up next, an all-star tribute to the tsunami victims..." blah, blah then I heard they were doing "Across the Universe," so I stayed with it. Wow, what an awful version of a great song... As soon as the "all-star" version of this infectious Beatles (Lennon) tune began, my thoughts turned to the inevitable SNL parody that will doubtlessly happen. A quick check online and I found someone who shares my thoughts,

If it's bad form to criticize do-gooders, well, then, we'll just take the karmic hit as we state what seemed obvious: The tsunami-relief song - a superstar performance of the Beatles' "Across the Universe" - was flat-out terrible. It was a surprising outcome given all the talent on the stage: Stevie Wonder, Alicia Keys, Brian Wilson, Norah Jones, Bono, Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong, Steven Tyler, Tim McGraw who, for some reason, performed three different times on the night. Now being sold to raise money for the tsunami-relief effort, the performance was so sloppy that it might have passed for a "Saturday Night Live" skit had we not known better. In fact, somebody more crass might say that this disaster of a performance deserves its own benefit concert. But not us. (Oops.) To get more of these insights, go here.

Yikes! Half the singers were off key and the rest just sucked. Good cause or not, have some respect for the original piece. Playing the original version while montaging some hopeful images of the aftermath would have impacted me. Instead, this ear-scratching display of self-promotion only cemented my lack of respect for this milquetoast awards show. It also made me glad that I had already donated for the cause. I would hate to have my sincere empathy for this tragedy linked to the starpower involved with this embarrassing effort...

Here the real story from the international menace Tommy Chong

Yes, they finally put Tommy Chong behind bars, but he is now out (grab the children and hide)! Listen to the Fresh Air interview with Chong and then listen to the "hero" who used such time honored techniques as entrapment to make a poster child out of Chong. You will also learn that they could only pull their hijinks in one of two states (and these are Feds), one of which is Iowa...

Bush Sings U2!

Have you heard Bush sing Sunday Bloody Sunday? If you want to create your own smash hit with your favorite smirky crooner, you can find all the clips you need here.

Music so bad it's funny

No, I'm not talking about the latest gem from JLo ('cause that ain't funny). When I found Incorrect Music Siftings, I had to hear the whole catalog. Enjoy! (or just laugh)

Lighten the f%*k up...

$10,000 for pretending to moon the rival crowd at Green Bay? First off, I've never liked Randy Moss, but this is a bunch of crap. I saw the "offending" moment and it was one of the few post-TD celebrations from him (and players like him, such as T. Owens) that actually cracked me up (no pun intended). For 10 grand, he should be able to go back out there and really show his ass. I've heard a number of these ex-player commentators go on and on about how bad this act was. What a bunch of self-righteous a-holes. As if Terry Bradshaw (the neanderthal himself) could possibly be offended by a simulated mooning. Geesh! If you don't know the backside of this story (ok, that pun was intended), read this guys take (even if he has trouble with spelling... and this guy and me are also on the same page.